Belay...

The Scarlett Raven

On Belay! I had a brief two year journey into rock climbing several years back. Considering that I have a fear of heights, I learned to love it, creative problem solving with your entire body! 

A climbing partner belays or anchors you while you are climbing up the face of a rock. The command “On belay” signals that they are ready to anchor you and you may climb up safely. I’ve heard a few different commands when the climber needs to stop to either rest or access the way up the rock. 

This is where I feel I am at the moment, anchored, dangling while I stop and access the way up.  I will admit, it has been a long hard climb out of a 37 year relationship that, while there were wonderful moments, there was also a lot of toxicity. Sometimes you have to step back to see what you couldn’t see when you were immersed in it. 

I am healing but I am also still climbing out of this long hallway. The house has not sold yet and, as often the case when things are hard, is having issue after issue come up. There are days when I want nothing more than to run away and never come back! 

Of course, I know that we all go through challenging times some worse or more than others. My heart goes out to those who are struggling with far harder times than I am. I send out strength and courage to them and quietly remind myself to gather my own strength and courage and continue on. 

I am very fortunate. I have been surrounded by many kind and loving friends and am so very grateful for the love and encouragement I have received. I am growing and learning. I am determined to come out of this whole-hearted. 

Above is a picture of my trailer, now named The Scarlett Raven and I am now living in a place I call the Raven’s Nest. I have landed on the property of generous friends for the time being. This allowed me to get out of this house while it is on the market and get a bit of distance from the whole situation. I still come back to the house everyday to work, either on the house or in my studio. It is a transition.

I am savoring my time alone at the moment. I needed the peace, healing, and the time to think and plan. I feel like a neglected caged bird that hadn’t realized the door had rusted open and that I am now free! My wings are a bit stiff and creaky but I will soon be flying. 

I wanted to check in to this blog again. I need a re-start and am stretching those wings to launch into the next phase of my life and art. My belay is almost over and then I will be ready to “Climb On”

-Renee